Pressure
"Can you feel the pressure?
Its getting closer now..."
-Paramore "Pressure"
Since I was 13, I have identified myself as a non-girly kind of girl. What I mean is I don't usually like how girls are supposed to act. Like how they use tons of makeup, wear high heels, act very feminine and vulnerable. I don't actually even know how to do those things. I like extreme sports, online games, getting dirty and acting tough. I am a girl but I am not feminine. I like what guys like. So I promised myself that I wouldn't be celebrating my 18th birthday or debut with gowns, dancing and stuff like that which are normally done in most debuts.
BUT I ACTUALLY WILL. OMIGAHD.
Since my mom wants me to celebrate it that way and she's covering all the expenses. So I will be wearing a frilly gown after all. I'm going to have that 18 roses dance and everything... I don't get it. I don't even know how to act like a girl and supposed to do those kind of stuff. I have two left feet! I can't dance! I hate wearing too much makeup. I hate wearing gowns, that sometimes reveal too much skin. I dunno how to act, stand, sit, walk and talk like a lady. THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH THIS? I'd be humiliated in front of the watching crowd. That's what I'm scared of.
Its strange how I've been planning my 18th birthday and ended up giving in to what I didn't want to do. I can feel the pressure alright. Its getting closer. My birthday's on the 29th, that's just a few days from now. I wonder how it'll turn out. Will it be a mess? Or will it be fun? I'm not saying that this will be a complete drag, what's the worse that could happen? It is my night after all, I have enjoy it nonetheless. I can really feel the pressure.
Its getting closer now..."
-Paramore "Pressure"
Since I was 13, I have identified myself as a non-girly kind of girl. What I mean is I don't usually like how girls are supposed to act. Like how they use tons of makeup, wear high heels, act very feminine and vulnerable. I don't actually even know how to do those things. I like extreme sports, online games, getting dirty and acting tough. I am a girl but I am not feminine. I like what guys like. So I promised myself that I wouldn't be celebrating my 18th birthday or debut with gowns, dancing and stuff like that which are normally done in most debuts.
BUT I ACTUALLY WILL. OMIGAHD.
Since my mom wants me to celebrate it that way and she's covering all the expenses. So I will be wearing a frilly gown after all. I'm going to have that 18 roses dance and everything... I don't get it. I don't even know how to act like a girl and supposed to do those kind of stuff. I have two left feet! I can't dance! I hate wearing too much makeup. I hate wearing gowns, that sometimes reveal too much skin. I dunno how to act, stand, sit, walk and talk like a lady. THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH THIS? I'd be humiliated in front of the watching crowd. That's what I'm scared of.
Its strange how I've been planning my 18th birthday and ended up giving in to what I didn't want to do. I can feel the pressure alright. Its getting closer. My birthday's on the 29th, that's just a few days from now. I wonder how it'll turn out. Will it be a mess? Or will it be fun? I'm not saying that this will be a complete drag, what's the worse that could happen? It is my night after all, I have enjoy it nonetheless. I can really feel the pressure.
